


Weight

by Fan_nuh



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Love Is Gross, M/M, Underage Drinking, i guess im not sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-22 17:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20877743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fan_nuh/pseuds/Fan_nuh
Summary: Basically meeting with the parents gone wrong. But it could've been worse.But in reality, it's a story about Eliott and everything that comes with him, friends, family, insecurities, drunken shenanigans, teenagehood and late night/early morning sappy talk with the boo. Oh and birthday.





	Weight

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! First time here! I hope someone will enjoy this.
> 
> Edited? Kinda. It's at the stage where you edit so much you know you made new mistakes.  
Will come back to it once I start doing something else.
> 
> cw: they are gross in love. you will see why.  
but also cw: throwing up.

Eliott's 19th birthday should have been a very understated affair. It was supposed to be only his closest friends. Which essentially just meant Idriss and Lucas and his friends hanging out in a park from 3 o'clock, then drinking a bit in some hipster pub until 10 so they could decide if they go to school or not the next day. He is not sure who was the first to ask if he could bring his girlfriend. It was probably either Arthur or Basile because he's not the biggest fans of Idriss' or Yann's "girlfriends" and wouldn't have agreed on it (that's a lie, he would have). But it doesn't matter since both of those girls were there as well. Then with Daphné and Alexia came the other girls. And with someone (not sure with whom) came Alex, who brought his good buddy Charles, who also happens to be the boyfriend of Manon. Eliott is just glad that the circle ended there. 

So there were all these people who got some problem with one another. It was just too many exes in one park. He should have invited Lucille just for laughs. There were already people who he didn't really know or just simply disliked. Who has to hang out with people they don't like on their birthday? Manon saw that he was a bit overwhelmed and tried to cheer him up saying that _everyone is ready to party with you because yesterday was the final bac exam_. Eliott just smiled and didn't say that the only other terminale is Alex. He really wished Mika and Lisa didn't have afternoon shifts that day. If they were to be there he the ratio of people he liked would have been in his favor.

Everyone brought their own drinks and then some except him. _Birthday boy privileges_ Lucas called it. He got a couple of thoughtful gifts but most of them were just alcohol. Not a creative bunch. Manon, Imane, Daphné, and Arthur were the only people who brought some food with themselves (cupcakes from Daphné, veggie dippers from Imane, birthday banana bread from Manon and crisps from Arthur). But against all odds, he did have some fun. Just hanging out with Idriss and Imane, laughing at Lucas's friends, and then chat with Alexia and Arthur an odd couple but probably his favorite people from the second years (other than Lucas of course).

They finished at the park not long after Yann and Lucas pulled some drunken stunts which got Yann's ankle sprained. So they continued the day at the pub where Mika was able to join them. When they met him at the entrance he graciously offered to drink all the leftover drinks so they wouldn't have to throw them out before entering. Idriss and Emma did help him a bit. Now, this pub was where the day went from kinda-bearable to just flat out bad. It had its moments, like when Mika and Eliott called Lisa on video chat, and she just switched the phone so they could watch what she was watching on the tv for a few minutes. And it was wonderful whenever he got to spend time with his boyfriend. But then people started to buy him shots, all of which somehow ended up in Lucas's hands.

Now past 10 o'clock, he was trying to get his hammered boyfriend home where he would meet his parents the next day. They had a well thought out plan. Drink some but get home in time, so they would get over their hangover quickly, but also to spend some time alone. Officially their day started at the coloc at 9 when Mika and Lisa made him breakfast. Eliott pretty much sobered up, since the only drink he had was a beer in the pub, Lucas on the other hand... 

Is throwing up right now. The hope of a nice, intimate and warm night together, ended up on the grass patch with every alcoholic beverage that was in Lucas. Talk about a chill night. While Eliott was caressing Lucas's back and saying an occasional "_There, there_", he tried to think through what was the exact point where this day went wrong. He never saw the boy this wasted before. They got drunk together a couple of times before, but always in someone's home, and not to this extent. They should have just finished with the pre-game after the park, or just stay there after finishing all the drinks they had brought there. If they had just stayed there, Alex wouldn't tried to hit on the bartender, which caused Emma to yell at him then try to make-out with every girl in her close vicinity; Basil wouldn't have possibly broken his index finger after attempting a trick at foosball; Charles wouldn't have knocked out a dude who was _obviously trying to hit on Manon _(actually just asked her where is the closest tram station); and Lucas wouldn't have kept stealing all his drinks whenever he got one in his hands (even if he was just holding someone else's drink). Yann already sprained his ankles in the park, that was already in the past.

By now Lucas was only coughing and sniffing. When Eliott found it safe to straighten him up, Lucas uttered his first sensible sentences.

"You are the best boyfriend. I don't deserve you." His face is wet with sweat and tears, Eliott hopes the tears only spilled out because of the strain that his face had to endure and not some emotional epiphany. "You deserve someone better. Like... It's supposed to be your day... and you are... I mean you were supposed to be spoiled and I fucked up everything." Lucas continued between short breaths and hiccups, now those tears are absolutely there because of the emotional turmoil inside Lucas's head.

"Stop it."

"No... NO! Hear me out..." Seconds stretch while Lucas keeps his left hand in the air, while the right is holding onto Eliott's shirt. He has visibly forgotten what he was about to say but is trying his best to remember.

"I'm liste-"

"Listen to me! Are you listening!?" Lucas interrupts him louder than necessary since the street is dead silent around them.

"Yeah, please continue." Eliott can't help himself but smile at Lucas's focusing and unfocusing eyes, and how his mouth keeps opening and closing, as his brain is constantly rebooting itself after a crash.

"I'm so gross... I just threw up on your front porch." 

"We are kilometers away. We still have to take a bus."

"Nooo. Peoplecan'tseeyouwithme. What'll they think? There you ARE, being all cool-hot... hehe that's funny." Then as if Eliott said something offensive Lucas hit him on the chest. "STOP! Don't joke around! I'm serious." 

Just like that Lucas goes off on a tangent, and Eliott knows that all he can do is to wait until he is finished. When sober Lucas is venting like this, Eliott listens to every single word. Could Lucas summarise the gist of the topic in under 10 sentences? Of course, he could, but he is also very passionate about many things. He is also a wonderful boyfriend since he too listens to everything Eliott has to say, even at times when Eliott knows that it doesn't interest the other boy at all. They do listen to each other, Eliott can only hope they will keep this up into many years in the future.

But now it's different. Eliott is tired, and Lucas doesn't make any sense. He's trying to listen, but his eyes instead wander away to see if there are any people around who might be bothered by Lucas's zealous speech, and thinks about if there are any 24 hours stores around here, or if it would be enough just to go buy some remedies for a hangover at the one closer to his flat, but then they have to get off the bus one stop before... Oh, there goes their night bus, wonderful. 

From time to time he does tune back into Lucas's venting.

"You are so handsome and kind and sweet and sexy." A juvenile laugh leaves his mouth at that, but his mischievous eyes quickly turn anxious. "How could a guy like you like me?" 

Eliott then cups his face into his hands and skims through it. He looks at Lucas's big blue eyes that are way too red for his liking, his skinny straight nose with snot pooling under it, his big mouth with chapped lips, and his chin which still has some vomit residue on it. Beautiful.

"Lucas." He says softly so the other wouldn't misunderstand his intention thinking Eliott is annoyed at him and wants him to shut up.

After sniffing and blinking away a few teardrops Lucas finally looks up into Eliott's eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Do you have tissues?" He asks as kindly as it's possible for someone who has been partying for more than 7 hours. But the way Lucas answers he's achieved the opposite effect. Lucas looks flat out indignant as if this assumption would insult his very being. 

"Do I look like someone who has tissues... Eliott? People like that have their life together, and they don't get wasted on their boyfriend's birthday. Those are the same people who keep sore throat candies or whatever with themselves, Eliott. Those people go to church Eliott--"

Before Lucas could find the energy to continue Eliott using the left sleeve of his black denim jacket, wiped his nose and chin. The older boy felt like he miscalculated the strength with which he cleaned up his boyfriend's face, so he delicately glazed his fingers over the other's mouth and chin. Lucas looked at him in utter shock, with wide eyes and a mouth half-open. 

Shit... Eliott loves him. This boy, who has too much emotions, energy and personality for his shorter frame. And well... he's not going to lie, Lucas's looks are not at the end of the line of reasons why he loves him. Eliott can't help himself but press a chaste, tight-lipped kiss on his lips, then he presses on firmer until Lucas shoves him away.

"Ew! You're disgusting, the fuck is wrong with you? I just barfed under your balcony-"

"We are still many bus stops away." And just like a couple of minutes ago, Lucas still refuses to hear him and continues as if he wasn't interrupted.

"You know what? We do deserve each other." It's Lucas's turn to clasp the older boy's face between his hands, but with more force than necessary, as his palms on Eliott's face let out a big clapping noise and Eliott lets out a tiny _ow_. "We are both gross."

Eliott encircles his waist and pulls him in, so they are standing belly to belly now. And as he leans into for a second kiss, Lucas strengthens his hold on his face and pushes him away while doing his best to keep his mouth as far away from Eliott's as possible.

"This was a one-time thing! We are never kissing each other after throwing up." Eliott tries his best to smooch his boyfriend and overpower his hands, but as he leans down Lucas keeps bending back. Honestly, he could easily best a wasted Lucas, but there is no fun in that, and he wouldn't kiss a Lucas who doesn't want to be kissed anyway. After wrestling for a minute he does score a small peck on Lucas's jaw. Good enough until a toothbrushing. 

As Eliott straightens up, he let's go of his hold on Lucas. They grin at each other, then Eliott looks over the bus station and tells Lucas that they should probably cross the street before they miss one more bus. While walking they hold each others' hands. _Like kindergarteners_, Lucas points out. _Did you look both ways?_ After waiting a couple of minutes they get on the bus and score two seats in the middle, as soon as they sit down Eliott has to fight against falling asleep. He sees that Lucas could possibly pass out any second, so he decides they would go to the store the next morning. Day drinking does have it's benefits, it is barely over 10 and they are already dead on their feet. 

All in all, his birthday was pretty nice, with all the mess that happened. He is glad he got Lucas's friends as his own. Never in his life had he had a big birthday bash like this. There were the big drinkers like Emma and Idriss who acted the part, and Alex who was way too composed given how much drinks he had. Most people drank just enough to enjoy themselves and to mess with Basile who was way too lightweight. Whenever he became too tired of that group he could always walk over to Imane and Manon, and have some quote-unquote intellectual discussions with them. 

Now he's exhausted, and he somehow has to get his boyfriend upstairs without much fuss. As soon as they got off the bus, Lucas sat down on the curb. As if he was disappointed in himself told Eliott that his legs are not working, and he has to sleep outside. Eliott wishes that the bus ride was longer, so Lucas could have sobered up a little bit more. But without missing a beat he crouches down in front of his boyfriend. He doesn't have to say a word Lucas is already putting his arms around his neck, albeit very slowly. Then he stops. _I told you my legs aren't working._ So he won't be very cooperative. It took Eliott a couple of minutes to stand up, after being on all fours with a useless Lucas on his back. Some other drunk girls yell at them if they need some help, Eliott bites his tongue and doesn't yell back a _Look at yourself. You are in no position to help someone._ He is just tired, and he still has to walk up a few flights of stairs to get themselves to bed. 

After an embarrassingly long time, he is finally in front of his apartment door. He puts Lucas down but keeps one of his arms around Eliott's neck, so he can still lean on him. 

When he put his keys into the lock, an awful realization hits him. He forgot to lock the door. He stands frozen, and mortifying thoughts invade his brain. God, they probably got broken into. This is the last thing he needed. His parents will be yelling at him tomorrow, and they will move back full time because Eliott can't live alone because he is a failure, who can't close his goddamn door, even when he is stable. He is useless, and if that wasn't enough he just messed up Lucas's time as well. He won't trust him with anything. He will feel like he has to take care of Eliott like a child. From now on he has to ask him not only about his meds but also if he has closed the door as if he's some grandpa with dementia. He is pathetic. Lucas has his head thrown back kind of trying to focus on the crack on the ceiling, good he can't sense Eliott's distress. He can put Lucas to sleep and then call the police, he doesn't have to know about anything.

But maybe no one broke into, what could they steal anyway? Only things of value are the laptops in the bedrooms and a printer in the study nook. Who the fuck would steal a printer? Damn...he just realized that the most expensive things are the projector and record player in the living room. God if they stole those... His father will have a fit. Eliott swallows, gathers all his strength and willpower and opens the door, then he takes two long strides to open the one leading into the living room, all the while basically pulling Lucas behind himself. Just like ripping off a bandage, he feels like it's the best to quickly investigate the damage. Just to see if the projector and record player are in their place.

However, upon opening the door, he is too busy to check if anything is missing, as there are too many excess things. More like extra people. _Fuck me, They were supposed to come the next day_. His parents and living grandparents are looking at him and Lucas without saying a word, Lucas is still too busy squinting at the lamplight. After exchanging looks for probably fifteen seconds, his mother speaks up. 

"I believe you forgot, that we were coming today." Lucas upon hearing the unknown voice whips his head back and zeroes in on the people sitting on the couch and the chairs around. He squints a bit as if he is deciding whether what he is seeing is real or not. As he concludes that the adults he's seeing are real, a look of complete terror overcome his features. However, someone as brave as Lucas immediately gets over the initial fear thanks to his drunken stupor, and as soon as he lets go of Eliott's shoulder he holds his hand out to greet no one in particular. Unfortunately, he forgot that his legs "aren't supposed to be working now", so he almost trips on his own feet, but luckily Eliott is there to catch him under his armpits and hoist him up before faceplanting the ground.

"Yeah well... erm... Family, this is Lucas" He swayed him a bit like a child would show his drawing to his parents. "Lucas, this is my family." With that, he pushed Lucas ahead as to point to his family, for a second Eliott forgot Lucas is not stable on his legs, so he almost fell once again, but Eliott came to just in time and strengthened his hold on Lucas, just as the boy grabbed onto his hands. Awkward silence filled the room again. He wishes he could open his mouth and say something to lighten the mood. His grandfather loves to talk for hours why is he silent now? And his mother? Whose job is to literally bullshit all day with employees?! Why is everyone suddenly silent? _For fucks sake please someone say something. Anyone._

''The boyfriend. I am uh... that," _Anyone but Lucas_. "I swear I'm good. At being a boyfriend. I mean not as good as Eliott, he is like the goodest." Eliott can't see his face since Lucas is behind him, but he sure hopes that his voice is not teary. "But I try my goodest. I know I'm not like a Lucille- I'm sure you loved her. She's all tall and cool with her jackets and like uhm mature...? But um... I try my good- I mean my best. And um... I guess we like... I mean Eliott and I... we uhh love each other?" _God, please someone interrupt him_. "Eliott loves me too. I can tell." Great, he is crying now. "He literally just kissed me with vomit in my mouth."

"Ok it wasn't like that--" Eliott tried to salvage the conversation, tho he knows he is already late.

"That is very nice Lucas. May I know how old are you?" His mother asks the question she knows the answer to.

"I'm almost... what? Around seventeen." Lucas asks more like answering, shooting a questioning look at Eliott. He would appreciate the lie (which is not even a lie, a few weeks and he will turn 17) very much if he didn't already told his parents after getting back home from that one week of stay at Lucas. That day he still didn't feel like talking too much, but that little talk he did was all about Lucas. 

"So sixteen." His father answers instead, both of them knew it, they just wanted these minutes to be more humiliating. All eyes are on Eliott, judging him that he got a 16-year-old minor drunk. All except for one pair belonging to his maternal grandmother.

Grandma Francine is the only one who knows how to live, starting with getting wasted when she was only twelve years old in the attic with her cousins. Whenever they meet he wishes she was the one, who lived just outside of Paris and not down south in Nice. Grandma Francine taught him everything important in life and introduced him to "actual" literature early on. She taught him to find himself in books and poetry. So when he was feeling down or was angry with the world he could escape into countless other worlds, in which only his own creativity could draw the boundaries. And later on, she showed him more profound books with deeper messages. She was the first one who found about him liking boys as well, he just never felt shame around her while talking about kids he found cute. When Eliott went through his first depressive episode, she was the only one who didn't patronize him. She didn't look at him as someone who from one day to another suddenly became something frail. Once he started to get better she gave him his first Virginia Woolf book. And now, here in his living room with a wasted Lucas in his hold, she is the only one smiling at him. At least one person remembers how is it to be a stupid teenager.

"I'm sorry I lied" Lucas answers with tremor in his voice, but also with a fair amount of exhaustion. "I'm horrible... I should've just slept on the pavement as planned." His head keeps falling ahead as if he is about to fall asleep. Lucas is also becoming more and more heavier as he depends more and more on Eliott to keep him standing. 

"Ok, well... I think we should go to sleep." Maybe he can end this nightmare quickly.

"Sure put him to bed, but as soon as you are done you are coming back here." Is what his mother says. He feels like no one remembers that it's supposed to be his birthday, this should be his day. His day to have fun without repercussions. And yet there he is walking Lucas's barely conscious body through the corridor towards his room, knowing that once he goes back to the living room there will be lectures and treating him like a kid. His parents are not strict per se, but there are only so many parents who can overlook a drunken minor, especially next to a son with mental illness. He is aware that with or without MI parents around the world would throw a fit over underage drinking, and the more mature side of his brain knows that they are right to do so.

He is too tired to deal with this. He woke up at 6 to a surprise from Lucas, and while he was able to go back to sleep right after finishing, Eliott has been awake ever since. Strictly talking about hours he knows the day wasn't that long, but he had just enough "fun" to be worn out. He throws themselves down on the bed, but he knows if he stays like that more than 10 seconds he won't be able to stand up. He takes off Lucas's clothes all except for his briefs and goes back to the lion's den. 

He can't look into anyone's eyes and just keeps looking at the floor, the plants, and the few artworks here and there on the walls. Grandma Francine is the first to break the silence.

"Happy birthday darling." She stands up and gives Eliott two kisses on his face. "Sadly I have to go back to the hotel, but I will come back around for a late lunch tomorrow, I love hotel breakfast too much to miss out on that one. I hope we didn't scare off your young man, and he will still be here. I would love to meet him in a way that he would remember the next day." Her laugh is always warm and light. 

"We should leave as well, it's quite late. Although the roads are too dark, but well, what can you do." Eliott likes his grandfather he can be a nice man, but he likes to express his disappointment in subtle ways, be it disappointment in repeating a year or not being neurotypical or not being 100% straight. He doesn't detest Eliott for not being heterosexual if he were hateful he wouldn't put Lucas out to a meeting with the man. His grandad just likes to ask him about girls, and when Eliott told him he is currently dating a boy he just hummed and changed the subject.

"I'm sorry. I was sure that you would come tomorrow. I mean dad and I, we put it into our shared google calendar." He is 100% sure he is right, it doesn't happen too often but he knows he is right this time. To prove that his father is wrong he is about to pull up the calendar on his phone. 

"Eliott, I called you on Friday and agreed to put it on Tuesday." Yeah, he is aware when they talked last time to confirm the time with his father. He had a well thought out plan for that Wednesday for two weeks now, he talked to Lucas about it, he told stories about his parents and grandparents, what they could talk about and what are the topics to avoid. They would have made food (well Lucas would have cooked but let Eliott peel and chop stuff). And most importantly they would have skipped school to nurse their hangover in peace.

"Yeah exactly, and today is..." Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck.They are right. Now everyone has the right to think that he's the biggest idiot who doesn't even know what Tuesday mean Tuesday. Fuck, he shouldn't have smoked with Alex that day.

They just finished their exams for the day on Friday and somehow ended up in the same grocery store, had a small talk about the exams, and about waiting to get over with the last one on the following Monday. _Soon we are free men _Alex said. They talked some more about how tired they are and how their nerves won't let them relax for a second. He's not even sure whose bright idea was it to smoke away those nerves, but the next thing he knew they were counting their money, wondering if they could buy a small package of weed just enough for one or two joints. They didn't end up buying anything in the grocery store but they did go to Eliott's weed guy because he is pretty cheap and Eliott was wondering how the guy was doing. And if he got that promotion at work that he was talking about a few months prior. Soon enough they got their weed, Eliott congratulated the guy on becoming an assistant manager, then they went onto some roof, which Alex said was, in his words, "_snitch-proof"_. They hung out there for about two hours, and those two hours were just enough to get a call from his dad. While he was able to fool his dad into thinking he wasn't high, it looks like he couldn't fool his brain, hence it forgot about their arrangement as soon as he put it in his calendar. 

"It's fine darling you just finished with your bac, you have to be exhausted. We should have called ahead." Great. Eliott made his grandma travel all those hours for nothing. ''Anyway I should really go now if I want to have a smoke before the taxi arrives. Don't worry love, I'll be here tomorrow. And don't you dare open your present while I'm away!" She then pointed next to the big thin rectangle next to the piano. Then hugged and whispered into his ear. "If your mother won't let you skip school tomorrow just come to the hotel and you boys can relax in my room." After some more hugs from his paternal grandparents, the three of them slowly left, and in the living room, it was only him and his parents. He thought about Lucas, who is safe from this talk far away in dreamland.

"Can you start please I need to go to bed."

"Bold of you to assume you will sleep in your bed."

"What?"

"Underage drinking? Seriously Eliott? This is what you've been up to while we are out of town?" God, he can't listen to his mother. He turns around and starts to head into the kitchen.

"Where are you going?"

"Fetching some water and aspirin for my boyfriend for when he wakes up?" He asks them as if it is the most obvious thing to do, and like he is not just trying to run away from the confrontation. He also doesn't want to look into his parents' eyes, not only because he is scared of what he might find, but also because he can't control his face and he is trying his best not to give attitude. "I want him to get better you see. I'm trying to be responsible here." He knows his parents are right for being mad, but they also don't know that Lucas has been drinking for almost a year. Of course, keeping Lucas's best interest at heart he's not going to share this with them. His parents are not strict at all, he's got wonderful parents, who let him spend most of his nights alone despite his condition. Eliott is aware that most parents with mentally ill kids won't give their child a quarter of the freedom that he is given. He found about this at that one group therapy sessions, that Lucille made him go to, so _You could meet with others who go through the same things as you do_. So him mostly living alone in his final year of high school as a bipolar person is quite rare if not unheard of. He just has to call his parents every other day, or if he doesn't feel like chatting he at least sends a text. All in all, he is more than lucky with his parents, but he wants to genuinely disappear right now. 

"You're talking about responsibility?" His mother continued, fighting to keep her voice down, keeping in mind that someone is already sleeping. "You know we are fine with a lot of things. Sure get tipsy and have fun, but that kid is basically black-out drunk. You're supposed to be an adult Eliott, the least you could do to not let your boyfriend get that wasted."

"Calm down Maman, I'm pretty sure he kept stealing my drinks so the alcohol wouldn't fuck up my brain." This might come as an excuse to save face, but he honestly thinks that Lucas in his own clumsy way just tried to keep his medicated brain intact.

"Eliott, language please -" His father interjected, but he continued.

"He's trying his best to take care of me without being overbearing, and I'm very thankful for that. He is trying to be a good boyfriend, and not a nurse or therapist. And in turn, I take care of him when he needs it. Like... He's here in one piece, isn't he?" He knows he didn't do his best that day, but they will get there. 

"Barely in one piece. Talking about taking care of each other... very nice sentiment Eliott but you can't make us forget about this."

"Look maman, wasn't it C. S. Lewis who once said "childhood is the time to make mistakes, so one wouldn't make those same mistakes as an adult - when it has real consequences"?" He never said this (why would he say some bullshit like this). He is not even sure if someone said it, or he just came up with it now.

"Eliott, you know damn well we have no idea."

"Papa, language." Eliott said as a weary and very disappointed teacher, who has to scold the class clown for the tenth time during class. His father barked out a laugh, good he is safe. Thank god his parents are not into humanities, they both love music and enjoy the arts from afar, but they are very much realists, who have better things to do than to read anything literature related. His mother also let a small smile slip, but tried to school her features, and continued.

"Please at least tell me this is the first time."

"And the last. I promise."

"Good. Since it is your birthday, we will look past this. But at least look like someone who regrets doing this and sleep on the couch. Let us be normal parents for one night and let us punish our son just this one time."

"It's my present to you." Eliott said graciously while picking up the water and aspirin once again from the kitchen counter."I will take these to Lucas, grab a pillow from my room and go to sleep." His parents both gave him a kiss on his cheeks and his father whispered a _We are still mad at you_, while his mother told him to go shower because he smells disgusting. Yeah, he guessed that multiple types of drinks, sweat, smoke, and vomit on his jacket sleeve aren't the most attractive combination.

After setting down everything on his nightstand and grabbing a pillow he kisses the back of Lucas's head. He was in the exact same position as Eliott left him. He adjusted Lucas into a more comfortable position and put the bin next to the bed so if he had to throw up he wouldn't choke on it and could just empty his regrets into it. Then Eliott went to take a shower. It was supposed to be the quickest shower so he could lay down as soon as humanly possible but the lukewarm water felt so nice on his skin. He just stood there without washing himself, letting the water wash down the day. His brain is empty, he tries to think about the day, but the exhaustion and alcohol just wiped out his ability to form thoughts. In his last minute under the water, he washed his hair and body on autopilot. And once he got into his shorts he finally laid down on the sofa.

***

"Eliott." He hears a whisper but isn't sure if it's his unconscious playing games or someone actually saying his name, so he doesn't open his eyes. "Hey, Eliott... Are you mad at me?" He then (barely) opens his eyes and looks over his shoulder to the direction of the sound, and sees Lucas's frame in the doorway.

"What?" He asks since he couldn't register what Lucas is saying exactly, and turns on his other side.

"Are you mad at me?" He doesn't understand the question, and it probably shows on his face since Lucas continues. "You are sleeping here... not with me."

His brain catches up just in time to smile at Lucas's ridiculous concern, he can be really sweet sometimes. Eliott can't see him very well from where he is lying on the sofa and it's still very dark outside. Lucas didn't switch on any lights either, and where he is standing not even the streetlamps could shine on him. Instead of giving him a clear answer he just turns on his back and opens his arms wide. Lucas understands the invitation and joins Eliott on the sofa. Lucas with all his bodyweight at once flops down on Eliott's body, and with that knocks the wind out of him. But instead of complaining he just hugs the other boy's shoulders tight and nuzzles his hair with his cheeks. Where Lucas's nose pokes Eliott's chest, he takes a deep breath as if he is relieved to be in Eliott's embrace.

"Oh, you showered. Fuck... I should too I don't wanna know what I smell like." 

"It's fine. And anyway..." He lets out a big sigh trying to wake himself up. "You had to deal with me when I was in a slump and refused to shower for days."

"That's different, it was just your sweat and stuff, it only took like 3 days." 

"Yeah, body odor is disgusting."

"Not when it's yours." Eliott lets a _huh?_ slip from his mouth, so Lucas continues. "I'm sure there is like science behind it, you know... like pheromones and stuff. And once it became annoying I told you, didn't I?"

"You are so weird." Eliott laughs while stroking Lucas's hair and looking up at the ceiling. Lucas murmurs a _That makes two of us_ into his chest and the conversation dies there. Eliott is all too aware of what they are not talking about. His hands move down from Lucas's hair to his back, only then he realizes that he put on one of Eliott's shirt. He scratches the middle of Lucas's back and wonders if he has fallen asleep already, but then the boy under his chin starts to talk once again.

"Your family must hate me."

"Noone in this world could hate you."

"I'm pretty sure my very own father hates me." Admittedly Eliott walked into that one. They talked about Lucas's father a few weeks back, that he hasn't been answering his text messages since he told him he's got a boyfriend. His father still sends the same amount of money to Lucas every month but will not send extra and doesn't try to meet with his son. Because of this complete lack of trying to get in touch, Eliott is not sure about what the man's deal is. And until he has a talk with his son, Eliott will try his best to lighten that weight on Lucas's shoulders. The weight of not having his parents around to take care of him. Just like he does the same for Eliott, lightens the burden of not having a normal brain, the burden of being too much and not enough at the same time and many more. Thanks to Lucas all those weights he put on his own shoulders are a lot less heavier, and all Lucas has to do is to be next to him. While Eliott has to use his words, to make Lucas forget about the pressure.

"Well... my parents don't hate you. They are just angry with me. That's why they made me sleep here."

"I'm sorry." He nestles deeper into Eliott's chest as if he's trying to disappear from the world but still stay with him."That meeting couldn't have been worse."

"They could have walked in on us going at it-" As he said it Lucas let out a pained groan that was way too loud for the hour.

"We would have to break-up. Or just tell your parents that we broke up, and hide our relationship. I could never look into their eyes again." A deep sigh. "God, I'm never having sex with you if your parents are in the same building."

"Now that's just excessive."

"I'm serious. Imagine my mother walking on us." Eliott thinks about telling him, that it's hard to imagine since he never met her. He knows he would only say this for the sake of being difficult, and after taking two more breaths he decides against it. It's not worth it to make both of them uncomfortable for one more reason. But he has to admit that when Lucas told him he isn't sure when he will introduce them to each other, it hurt his feelings. 

"But for real tho..." Lucas raised his head, and put his hands on Eliott's chest just to balance his chin on them and to look into his eyes."I would never break-up with you." He might only intend this as a follow up to his dramatic statement, but those are heavy words for worn-out minds. Eliott knows that this talk could go into many directions. He could say the sentiment back to Lucas and wax poetics about his love for him, which would all be true, but he is too tired to say the words Lucas deserves to hear. He could also talk about his insecurities and how many reasons there could be to break up, all because of Eliott. He chooses the easiest way.

"Not even if I were to shave my head?" He jokes to lighten the mood and deter the conversation to an easier route. Lucas's answer was to look up at his hair, then to raise his hands to push Eliott's hair back. Their heads are right next to the window so Lucas can look at it for a few seconds, pondering.

"You've got a decent hairline." He came to the conclusion with a nod."So until you leave a few millimeters we would be fine."

"Would we?"

"Yeah. We could be like a scary couple." Lucas emphasized with a nose scrunch and squinty eyes. 

"Ok..." Eliott says with an awkward chuckle. But it does make him think. "So I don't have hair, but what's supposed to be scary about you?" He didn't mean it to be teasing, it was an honest question. Even before they got together, and felt that his crush was one-sided, Eliott felt that at worst Lucas was just annoying. Trying too hard at being a straight guy when people were around, but he was never intimidating.

"I'll let you know that between the two of us, I'm the one with street-cred."

"Oh are you?"

"Yep. I was in a street fight last year." Lucas said with his nose upwards and lips pursed as if he was proud. Eliott got many questions. First of all, are street fights between teenagers still a thing? How can someone get into a street fight? Do you have to be a member of a gang to fight? How many people there has to be for something to be counted as a gang? Like Lucas and his friends call themselves Le Gang, do they truly count as a real gang? God... did Lucas get in a fight along with his friends? In that case, the four of them had to lose. Like there is no other outcome. But if they were to lose Lucas wouldn't be so proud now. This only leaves Eliott with one final question.

"With who? Kindergarteners?"

"Ok that's it, I'm leaving you for good." Lucas says and gets his hands back on Eliott's pecks to push himself up on him. Eliott knows Lucas won't leave the room, but those centimeters between them are already far too many, so he puts his arm around Lucas's shoulders and pulls him back into his neck.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But please don't get into fights from now on." He says between laughs and tightens his embrace around Lucas's neck.

"I can't promise anything. If someone is being an ass to you I will punch them in the throat." And Eliott can honestly believe that. They do have very different ways of dealing with confrontation. Lucas when provoked jumps into it with teeth and nails and loud words. While Eliott likes to get out quickly with either charming words or calm ruthlessness. The ruthless comments made Lucille run out of rooms (either to cry or stop herself to say something worse back to Eliott) and the charm helped him get out of explaining why he went back to Lucille when he finally reconciled with Lucas. When the nice words don't work on Lucas they do get into fights, which he does hate since he does have to get louder so Lucas would hear what he has to say. Eliott hates it more when he is yelling then when Lucas is, he can't stand to lose his cool like that, and he is already quite used to Lucas being the more vocal one between the two of them (and between most of their friends). 

"Because you can't reach their face?"

"I'm sure I can reach a pillow now and strangle you." He is getting better and better at quickly retorting Eliott's jabs at him. However, that won't make him less cute. So Eliott hugs him as close as possible like a kid would wish to hug an adorable animal but scared to do so because the animal wouldn't survive it. Eliott is lucky Lucas is tougher than that, he can deal with his love and the bone-crushing hugs coming with it.

"God I love you..." He said with a deep sigh like the lovesick fool that he is. "But really don't get into fights with guys bigger than you." The implications are clear with his words, but Lucas decides to not respond to it.

"Guess we won't be a scary couple." As if Lucas is trying to show the antithesis of said couple he nudges Eliott's nose with his own. "And anyway... once you were to open your mouth the facade would fall apart."

"How come?"

"You have a kind voice. You can be intimidating all you want with those eyes and face, but once you talk, people will see through. You are a softie."

Eliott's not sure if he would call himself a softie. He does have a softer side but he only shows that to his partners, now to this one particular boyfriend he can feel is about to fall asleep. Lucas stopped caressing his side and his breathing started to slow down. Eliott grabs his phone on the coffee table to check the time. It's still just 3. If he wants to sleep more than 4 hours he has to get rid of Lucas. He loves Lucas but this won't do.

"You know you can go back to bed." 

"You know you can just say I'm bothering you."

"It's just that there is not enough space to lay down next to each other. And you're getting heavy." That gets Eliott an appalled scoff, and Lucas looks up.

"You are not one to talk dude! You're lying on me all the time. Like when I'm on my stomach? You are killing my shoulders every time. And anyway, I'm smaller, so it's literally like a weighted blanket. People pay for that."

"Lemme check on my phone how much those blankets weight."

"That's beside the point. And if you can deal with me in your lap you can deal with this." Fair enough, although sitting in his lap doesn't take up the whole night. A few seconds pass before Lucas speaks again. "Did you have fun?" He's not going to leave...

"What do you mean?"

"On your birthday."

"Would have been nicer if I could spend some time with my boyfriend." They did spend some time together especially in the bar, but Lucas was too drunk to count it as quality time.

"Sorry. I just wanted you to have fun with all your friends since we are attached at the hip every day." There is regret in Lucas voice, he really wanted to spend more time with Eliott but tought he was being considerate.

"Oh yes, I missed chit-chatting with my good old pal, Charles Munier." Eliott found out the guy's family name that day. He is pretty sure that the only thing they knew about each other was their significant other. This didn't stop Charles to give him his most expensive gift. Just like most of the other presents, it was alcohol that Yann and Chloe had to take back to the coloc after he sprained his ankle since they couldn't bring those to the pub.

"God I don't understand why Manon went back to him. He's not worth it, not even for that Smirnoff gold-"

"We will drink that on your birthday." 

"Nah, I don't wanna drink that much on my birthday." Hard to believe, but maybe it's the hangover talking. "I'm sorry everyone just bought drinks."

"Did anyone tell you that you apologize too much?"

"I'm serious. You shouldn't have gotten that many drinks." Here it comes.

"Why is that?" His jaws tighten as he asks. He will do his best to not get annoyed.

"Well, you know... Like no one should get only drinks on their birthday." Lucas is walking on eggshells around him and breaks eye contact. He hates it. "I mean. No one should drink that much."

"Just say no one with mental illness."

"That's not what I meant." 

"That's exactly what you meant... And you're right." Lucas is finally looking into his eyes again. "We will keep all of it at the coloc, so Mika can drink half of it with his conquests." And with that Lucas laughs again and with a hand caresses Eliott's cheek. Now he knows for sure, that Lucas stole his drinks because they would interact poorly with his medications. So dumb. Trying to be sneaky about looking after him. Eliott appreciates it tho, the fact that he is trying not to be a Lucille, counting his drinks, counting his meds (as if he couldn't just flush them down the toilet), or making him take it in front of her. Poor Lucille, the only thing she achieved with all that that he became better at lying and that they started to hate each other. He feels bad for Lucille. Sometimes he thinks he took away her teenage years, having a boyfriend she has to take care of. He doesn't want to do the same to Lucas. So he will try his best to cooperate and take care of himself, so Lucas won't have to help with his baggage as much. Minutes passed but Lucas hasn't said anything in a while.

"Goodnight Lucas."

"Goodnight Eliott. Oh, wait!" He wants to ask _for what_ but the answer is there before the question. Lucas presses a slightly open kiss on his lips.

"I brushed my teeth before I went looking for you." Priorities. "You can get kisses again." How kind. But he is too happy to get those kisses again, so he skips out on the teasing and leans up for a longer one. After each time they part to breathe the kisses are getting longer and longer. Usually, Eliott is not one to complain about long make-out sessions, but there are too many factors that are not in their favor. For one, Eliott is tired, but even if he could muster up his energy he would quickly get too excited and Lucas has just set down the rules about activities under the same roof as the parents. So Eliott, as the "real adult" that he just became overnight separates their mouth and doesn't go back for one more round.

"You have too much energy."

"What are you talking about? There's no reason to be tired."

"Did the alcohol wipe out all your memories? We did plenty." He's not even going to mention the fact that he finished his bac exams on Monday, because Lucas's answer would be _Yeah dude, and once you got back I let you sleep until next morning_. Which was basically just a good night's sleep, it wasn't long enough to recover from week-long exams upon exams.

"Plenty? We just drank here and there, and you weren't hardcore partying like me." 

"You will get it once you're my age."

"I think it's more of an Eliott thing and not a 19-year-old thing." With a final weak chuckle from both of them, Eliott knows that their night is officially over.

He slowly drifts into sleep. The sofa itself is uncomfortable as well, but with having Lucas on him he can't even move to make it more bearable. This, and everything that happened the day before, broken fingers, sprained ankles, jealousy between too many exes and the tragical meeting of his family and boyfriend, could give him all the reasons to complain about having the absolute worst birthday of his life, yet he has never been more content than now on the brink of passing out. Since waking up on his birthday he never even thought about whether he will pass all his exams, Eliott has not once thought about how his future will move forward or if he has to repeat his final year yet again. With all those drama happening he never got stressed over what might lie ahead. Lucas really does help him forgetting about all the weight he puts on himself, but he doesn't want Lucas to take it on himself instead.

"I will stop lying on you."

"Please don't." Just like Eliott, Lucas is also right between sleep and awakeness. His words are slurred and just heavy enough to barely leave his mouth. "I like your weight on me." Eliott wants to think he meant both his literal and figurative weight he keeps putting on Lucas. And wishes that the boy will think the same many years from now, and won't get tired of always taking care of Eliott. And he hopes he can give the same comfort back to Lucas.

"I like your weight on me too." 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Tell me what you think! (but like really, i wanna know)


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